


From Denpasar to Danbury: Pushing the White Horse

by Gamut



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-03
Updated: 2014-06-05
Packaged: 2018-01-18 02:00:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1410814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gamut/pseuds/Gamut
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is just an idea I had for an OITNB story. It's more or less a revisioning of the Alex/Piper story. It starts where Piper leaves Alex in Paris. Hope you all enjoy</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

            The blonde walked into the bedroom with a steely determination etched on her face. While she furiously dug through drawers and ransacked the lavish apartment only to come up empty-handed, her sullen partner sat motionless on the crisp white bed sheets.

“Are you off the phone now? It wasn't in the bathroom, either. Did you look at all while I was out?”

When her interrogation appeared to fall on deaf ears, she tried again, this time appealing to the dark haired woman’s emotions, “Alex, I understand you're upset, but could you at least acknowledge I'm a person who is speaking? If I miss this flight I'm screwed…Alex! Passport! Hello?”

“My mom just died.”

The statement hung in the air. The blonde’s search was instantly forgotten as she tried to comprehend what she had just been told. She finally found her voice as she gently approached her distraught partner, “What?”

The brunette turned to consider her fair-skinned lover, “My aunt just called up…it happened this morning, I guess.”

The blonde’s forlorn expression spoke of the heartbreak she knew her partner must be feeling as she drew the taller woman into a comforting embrace, “Oh, Alex. I’m so sorry.”

Alex’s response was a mirthless little laugh filled with both irony and disbelief, “My first instinct was to call her to talk about it.”

The smaller woman leaned back to look the brunette in eyes, “What happened?”

Shaking her head in confusion, Alex replied with a voice tinged with tearful regret, “An aneurysm…I don't know…my aunt said so many things I don't even remember now.”

In that moment, the blonde shifted comfortably into the role of the pacifist for she was a perpetual people-pleaser, always avoiding conflict, “What can I do?”

This was the only incentive the brunette needed to transition into full business mode. Fortunately, her work had prepared her with a sharp mind as well as the ability to operate effectively during stressful situations. Without thinking, she lifted herself off the bed and began devising a plan, “I don't know. I mean, I need to fly home. I need to figure out the funeral because there's no one else to do it.”

Although uncertain of where she fit into this scenario considering the circumstances, the blonde simply agreed, “Okay.”

The brunette took this reaction to mean that their recent standoff was either in a recess or had ended altogether, “Will you see if you could find us two seats out on a flight today?”

The smaller woman blinked briefly and forced her eyes to focus on anything other than the woman with whom she had spent the better part of her 20s. For this reason, she chose her next words carefully, “Al, I can't go with you.”

Alex’s expression offered no hint of the turmoil and astonishment she felt, “What?”

By this point, the flaxen-haired beauty had composed herself into a remarkably calm state and was able to easily articulate her thoughts as she spoke in an even tone, “I am so sorry about your mom…but this doesn't change anything.”

Alex could not believe what she was hearing. She could not keep the incredulous sob from stifling her voice as she spoke to the only woman she had ever allowed herself to love, “You're still leaving? Right now? My mother just died. I can't fucking believe you!”

This rare display of vulnerability by the brunette did nothing to deter the smaller woman from the decision she had made, “I can't be your girlfriend anymore.”

Alex was quick to reply with an attempt to shame the blonde for her choices, “Yeah, and apparently not even my friend.” The brunette quickly avoided finishing the argument. Deep down she knew she had already lost, “…top drawer, underneath my T-shirts.”

The fuming blonde strode across the room to the dresser, “Jesus, Alex! You fucking hid it?” She quickly pushed the clothing aside and brandished the recently misplaced passport.

The brunette offered no defense for her actions. She simply dissolved into an imbroglio of tears and allowed herself to beg, “Please don't leave. Not now.”

The blonde fixed the other woman with a look of disdain and with that stare she turned her back on the one thing that had been the primary form of constancy in her life, as fleeting and feeble as it was. Once she reached the doorway, she gripped the handle of her suitcase and never offered a look back.

Once outside the blonde stood on the Parisian street and considered her options. She was immediately hit with a wave sights and sounds. The sidewalk teemed with characters from every walk of life and the air was thick with the sweet, yeasty smells rolling from the bistro on the corner…the one Alex liked to bring her coffee from. All of her senses were delightfully abuzz despite the ugliness of what had just transpired in the room upstairs. And anyway she was tired of living on Alex’s time.

Today might be the last day she ever spent in Europe and she didn’t want to hurry. Aéroport Paris–Charles de Gaulle would always be there tonight or tomorrow. Besides she had already almost missed her flight because she couldn’t find her passport.

They had been in Paris for six months, yet there was so much she hadn’t been able to see or do. She had spent most of her time waiting around the apartment hoping Alex would join her, but the brunette was always too busy.

One of the places she really wanted to go was Les Deux Magots.  She knew it was a popular tourist attraction because it has once been a trendy hang out for famous intellectuals in the earlier part of the 20th century. This is what really attracted her literary mind. She remembered that the café was once frequented by the likes of Hemingway, Camus, Joyce, and Brecht. It was actually amazing she and Alex hadn’t checked it out, considering how literary they both were.

With her mind made up she started to make her way to the nearest Station de Taxi, but second guessing herself, she decided she would rather walk. She knew it would take longer to walk from their apartment in the Le Marais district of the 4th arrondissement to Saint Germain, but she knew the sights would be better. Le Marais was the unofficial gay mecca of Paris and while it was generally a fun place to hang out, she decided that spending a little of Alex’s money in the ritzy-er Saint Germain district might do her heart some good.

Roughly half an hour later she managed to grab an outdoor table at the café. It had just been vacated by a gorgeous couple whose obvious affection for one another made her heart lurch, but she couldn’t be picky when it appeared every other table was taken. Once she was seated she took a quick peek at the café menu and ordered Foie gras de canard et toasts Poilâne and a cold Café Viennois. She wanted to add a Pousse Café for drinking after her coffee, but the pronunciation tended to send her into a fit of giggles so she had always made Alex order it for her. Alex sounded much sexier saying it than she did, anyhow.

Just as she was cursing herself for thinking of Alex, a dark haired man across from her folded his newspaper and waved at her to catch her attention, “Are you American?”

She blushed slightly, “Yes, was my French that terrible?”

He laughed, “No, not at all…there was only a slight detection of an accent.” He then, stood up from his table and made his way over to hers, taking a sit in the empty chair.

She raised her eyebrows at the casualness of the action. He caught her expression and held up his hands, “Sorry. Hi, my name’s Larry. I’m not usually this forward, but would you care to share a table with me? It’s just that I’ve been on assignment here for 2 weeks and to be honest, I have  exhausted all of the French I know and it would be really nice to carry on a conversation with another American.” He then leaned in conspiratorially, “Besides, in case you haven’t noticed, some of these Frenchies are assholes.”

Although, his assessment was crude, she laughed despite herself. He then gave her a boyish look, “So….?”

She bit the inside of her bottom lip…he was definitely no Alex. But he would do. In place of an affirmative answer, she raised her hand across the tabletop, “It’s Piper. Pleasure to meet you.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Everyone! Here is our second chapter in this little tale. I must forewarn you this chapter includes a GRAPHIC DEPICTION of heterosexual relations. Please don't stone me...I promise there is much more to come and this is actually the lowest of the lows for this pathetic Piper. I hope that you will give it a chance, but if you feel you can't I have included a line break in the story so that readers that do not wish to read the graphic portion may skip the last half of this chapter and should be able to pick up the rest of the story in the next chapter without any major setbacks. I must say I feel that this particular scene is necessary in Piper's evolution which is why I have written it as such. I truly hope you all decide to stick with it and I am also open to comments of all kinds. I only ask that you keep in mind this is just a story and while I feel criticizing a character's choices is a natural response to an emotional story, attacking the author is not. So, if you feel the need to vilify a character or their choices please be my guest...I will not take that personally.

The small meal had been delightful and the conversation wasn’t a complete bore. Piper was actually shocked at the great time she was having. She and Larry had listened to the conversations of locals while trying to decipher the language before eventually giving up and developing their own silly translations instead. At one point, a woman carrying on a colorful conversation with what a appeared to be a friend, spotted their overly dramatic re-enactment and rolled her eyes and said, “Oh les américains.” This only seemed to ignite their laughter further.

When both of them were able to finally compose themselves, Larry eyed the blonde suspiciously, “So, Piper, what brings you here?”

For a moment, Piper looked like a deer in headlights as she determined how to best answer the question, finally she giggled a bit and said, “Umm...you mean here?,” she then pointed to the tabletop, “or you mean France?”

He smiled, “Either…or…both?”

She smiled politely, “Well, I’ve actually been living here in Paris for 6 months…”

He raised his eyebrows as he interrupted, “Oh wow, I don’t know for some reason I just assumed you were traveling like me.”

She smiled and swallowed, “Well, it’s only temporary, really. So I suppose you could call it traveling.”

He nodded trying to decipher the cryptic way in which the blonde was describing her current arrangement, “So, that sounds like an interesting story…”

Piper took a sip of her Pousse Café and shook her head, “No, not really. A friend of mine is an importer of…art...antiques and the like. I just came with.”

Larry looked impressed, “Really? That must be an interesting job.”

Her eyebrows lifted considerably as she pondered the thought. She was about to tell him he had no idea how interesting when a girl approached the table. Piper looked stricken, but it was too late to leave the café because the girl had already called her name, “Piper, hey! Is Alex with you?”

It was one of Alex’s mules. Piper did not relish the idea of involving Larry in any part of Alex’s business so she tried to keep the encounter to a minimum. “No, sorry,” she replied keeping her eyes downcast.

The girl didn’t seem to get the hint, “Well, shit! I’ve been calling your apartment for the last hour. Look, I’ve got an investor. Do you think you could take a message?”

Piper gave a tight smile and said, “Sure.” It was the only way she knew to get rid of the nuisance.

The girl quickly rattled off a number she could be reached at and left awkwardly.  Larry’s eyebrows knitted as he was starting to pick up on a bit of tension, “Umm…if you don’t mind my asking, who’s Alex? Is he like your boyfriend?”

Piper sighed, “No, Alex is my friend, was my friend, whatever…the importer.”

Larry looked even more confused, “Oookay…”

Piper started to gather her belongings from the table, “Look, we had a huge fight this morning and long story short I’m heading back to the U.S…alone. So, not to be rude, but I really don’t want to talk about it. This is my last day here so I just want to enjoy it.”

Larry put his hands up in surrender, “Hey, it’s cool. I understand.”

By this point, Piper had paid her tab and was getting ready to leave, “Are you coming or no?”

Larry threw some bills on the table and jumped up quickly to follow Piper down the sidewalk, “Sure. Where are we going?”

Piper shrugged, “I don’t know.”

Larry said, “Hey why don’t we head over to Le Marais. I heard it was like gay town. Talk about entertainment.”

Piper stopped and looked at him as if he had grown another head, “Does that seem funny to you, that just because someone is homosexual they must be a debacle or an exhibit for you?”

Larry looked suitably chastised, “What?! No, of course not! I just thought you wanted to do something fun.”

Piper could feel her stress levels taking their toll and she wasn’t sure if she would be decent company for anyone, “Look, I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. It has just been an awful morning and I’ve not even really tried to sit and consider the implications of everything that has happened in the last 4 hours. You seem really nice, but I think I would probably be better off to find a pub stool and attempt to drink my worries away.”

It wasn’t that she was truly upset with Larry…she was mostly upset with herself. When faced with the mule, which was just another reminder of Alex, she realized what a tit she was being. Even if she and Alex couldn’t be together the least she could have done was accompany her to her mother’s funeral. She knew she was being a petulant bitch, but she also knew the only way she could survive losing Alex was to gain her autonomy and that meant getting away from the other woman as soon as possible, no matter the cost.

Larry gently pulled her arm, “Well, I’m not letting you get drunk alone. Come on. My hotel is only a few blocks from here. The bar is a bit stuffy, but the seating is private.”

She considered her options and knew that she could either take him up on his offer or she could make her way to the airport in hopes to get drunk in the United Airlines lounge before catching a flight out. Regardless of how selfish she knew she was being, the only thing that seemed to matter at that particular moment was that she had quite possibly lost the most important person in her life, leaving her single and alone in the unofficial city of love. With that particular thought she gave Larry her hand and replied, “Lead the way, good sir!”

* * *

 

Many drinks later, Piper was feeling the effects of an advanced state of inebriation. She supposed Larry felt the same, but she couldn’t be bothered with him right now…she was just so sleepy. She reached out clumsily and attempted to lie down on the small Victorian sofa that they had been sitting on. She didn’t get far before Larry lifted her head, “Are you tired?”

She nodded.

He laughed boyishly, “Do you want to use my bed for a nap?”

She grinned and nodded again.

He stood and offered his hand which she gladly accepted. On the elevator they were joined by a rather large woman just departing the restroom. She had apparently encountered a bit of trouble rearranging her dress and had inadvertently gotten the hem stuck in the waistband of her panties. Piper laughed loudly when she entered and turned her back to them. Larry did his best not to crack up himself as he placed his hand over Piper’s mouth, effectively drowning out the guffaw. They were still laughing when they reached the door to his room.

He ushered Piper in and she doubled over in an uninhibited laughter. While trying to remove her shoes to lie down, she stumbled and would have fallen over had Larry not caught her by the shoulders and steadied her. She laughed again, the alcohol obviously driving her into fits of giggles. However, her laughter died in her throat as her eyes caught Larry’s intense stare. She wasn’t sure why, but she felt compelled to kiss him. Perhaps, it was because he had been a kind stranger or perhaps she was just lonely. Whatever it was, she didn’t stop herself when she leaned in to take his mouth with hers.

The kiss could have ended with that first touch, but it didn’t. Instead, Piper deepened the kiss and moaned into his mouth. She instantly felt him harden through his pants and she broke the kiss to begin removing his clothes. For once in what felt like forever, she wasn’t worrying over Alex or the business or her family or friends. Just this once she was living in the moment. Once they had both been relieved of their clothes, Larry laid her on the bed and climbed over her to run his mouth both down her body. She froze momentarily…he was going to go down on her. She didn’t want that. It was too intimate and it felt too much like Alex. God, this was the last place she wanted to be reminded of Alex. She quickly grabbed his head and pulled him back up to her lips. She kissed him hard and reached between them to grab his stiff member. She gripped the shaft firmly and began easing it towards her sex.

He stopped her with a whisper, “Wait…I don’t have any protection.”

She squeezed him tighter which elicited a grunt from him then she replied, “It’s ok.”

He brushed the hair out of her face and kissed her, “Are you sure?”

She nodded somewhat hesitantly and tried to relax by closing her eyes. She opened her eyes as he reached into her copious wetness with his fingers and used it to coat himself generously. It was all happening so fast and before she could change her mind she felt his girth stretch her open and fill her inside.

She let out a deep guttural moan and he followed, “Oh my God! You’re so fucking tight. Are you Okay?”

She reached up to kiss him to keep him quiet. She then rolled her hips urging him on and another moan of pleasure and pain escaped her lips. She knew she would feel this in morning. It wasn’t that he was overly large, but she couldn’t remember the last time she had fucked a guy. Even the use of toys with Alex had been limited.

He didn’t last much longer and she felt him instantly deflate inside of her as he exited and lay down close to her on the bed. He gently rubbed her face with his thumb and was about to speak, but she put her index finger to his lips and shushed him. Once he was silent, she used her other hand to reach down and stroke him back to attention. She hadn’t gotten near the pleasure he had so she was determined to try again. It only took a little bit of coaxing to have him ready for round 2.

This time she climbed on top of him and felt him slip inside much easier than before. This was one of her favorite positions with a guy because she knew she had complete control and could almost guarantee herself an orgasm. She just hoped he held out. The tip of his cock reached her g-spot perfectly and she began a rocking motion as to create the perfect massage against the walls of her pussy. She rode him so hard it took him less than 10 minutes to cum again, yet this time she was right behind him. As she felt his warmth fill her, she continued to force her hips against his until she managed to orgasm around him.

She immediately climbed off him and hoped he would go to sleep. Thankfully, her wish was granted and she was left alone with her thoughts. She felt like she was a completely different person compared to who she had been that morning. If Alex didn’t already hate her, she certainly would after this. She reasoned with herself that it didn’t matter anyway because she would probably never see Alex again. That thought made her curl into a ball of despair. It was then that she allowed the first tears to fall since she had left their little apartment earlier that day. She cried for herself, for Alex, and Alex’s mom and she wondered if things would ever feel normal again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again. So, if you're reading this then you've made it past the previous chapter and decided to hang in there. For that, I commend you. You must all know I am a hopeless romantic at heart, but I sure do love seeing these girls work for it. Thank you to everyone who is following along on this one. Let me know what you think good or bad!

Chapter 3:

Something startled the blonde from her sleep and she realized it was a very manly arm that had been draped across her waist. For a moment she panicked trying to remember where she was then she began to remember meeting Larry and coming back to his hotel. The last coherent thing she recalled was the feel of him thrusting inside of her. Just the thought of it made her ache in her nether regions and she tried quickly to push the thoughts away. But as she moved to sit up the soreness between her legs was a constant reminder of the act. She wasn’t surprised by the pain though. She and Alex had always enjoyed a healthy and active sex life, but in the previous few months things had been so acrimonious between the two that they had failed to come together even sexually. She guessed this was the reason why the night’s activities had produced such an effect.

 She padded silently across the room hoping not to wake Larry. It wasn’t anything personal, but she knew there was nowhere for them to go from here. Not when she was still desperately in love with Alex. She didn’t know why, but when she woke and realized where she was, she had this overwhelming urge to be with the other woman. She was starting to suspect that she had made a terrible mistake…well, scratch that…two mistakes. The first was leaving Alex; the second was allowing things to go so far with Larry.

It was still early by her calculations as there was very little light coming in through the room’s only window. If she hurried she might able to catch Alex before she left. She hoped against hope that she would still be there and that she could make things right. The only sickening thought was what if Alex didn’t want to see her and even if they could work things out what about Alex’s line of work? It was extremely unlikely the brunette would ever agree to quit and even if she did what danger might that visit upon the both of them? She reconciled those thoughts in her mind…it didn’t matter she still had to try.

She sat at the small table near the door and penned Larry a heartfelt and apologetic note thanking him for his kindness and offering a brief explanation as to why she must go. She hoped it would suffice, but ultimately she never intended to see him again. They never even shared last names so hopefully she could explain everything to Alex and forget it ever happened.

She walked out of the elevator a woman on a mission. She borrowed the phone from the concierge’s desk and dialed the number Peaches had given her. Peaches had left Piper with a message for Alex yesterday when she and Larry were eating at the café. She knew it was early, but Alex’s colleagues liked to party all night most of the time so there was a chance that someone may still be up. The guy that answered had a gruff tone and she could hear music blaring over the line. Unfortunately, when she asked to speak with Peaches, he told her that a tall brunette had picked up Peaches several hours ago…Alex. He then proceeded to tell her that Peaches had stiffed him with a $300 room service bill and that when he found her he was going to…

Piper hung up the receiver before he could finish. She did not want to get dragged into that chaos today. She then dialed a taxi service and requested one immediately. The trip back to Le Marais took about 10 minutes and when the driver stopped the car on Rue des Rosiers, she threw a few bills at him and sprinted inside the building.  Their apartment was on the second floor and she had never hated stairs so much in her life. When she got to the door of the apartment she smoothed her day old clothes and slid her key into the lock. But when she opened the door she knew Alex was gone.

Not a trace of the brunette or their life there existed in the apartment. It had been cleaned to an immaculate state and none of their personal effects remained. And then it hit her, surely Alex didn’t leave Paris permanently. But the deeper into the apartment she ventured, it became clear. The only things that remained were the furniture which had came with the furnished apartment.

She sat down on the plush sofa and cried out into the empty surroundings. Her heart hurt with such a longing that she wasn’t sure she could ever leave the room. But she knew she must. Finally, her sobs turned to light sniffles and she reached over to the table, pulling the old rotary phone towards her. Surely it was still in operation as it too had been furnished by the owner. Initially, she tried to call Alex’s cell, but the incessant busy signal told her all she needed to know. Alex only kept throw-away phones because of the business. Even then, she never kept the same number for more than a few months and it was always local to wherever she was. That was one of the first things Piper learned when they got together and she would have difficulty reaching Alex who was always call her from random numbers…never carry an international number. She could only assume if Alex was back in the states she had picked up another phone as soon as she landed. It was custom, it was safe. Fuck! Faced with only one other option she made a collect call and waited to be transferred across the seemingly infinite miles. She knew it would be close to midnight in New York, but she needed someone. A moment later and she heard the voice she had trusted since childhood, “Helloooo?”

“Polly, it’s Piper. Accept the charges!”

“YES! Yes you stupid bastard I accept! Piper, hello, are you there?”

Piper broke down into another round sobs, “Hey, Pol. I fucked up.”

“Pipes, it’s okay what’s going on? I haven’t heard from you in weeks and now you call me in tears. What the fuck?”

Piper did her best to calm her emotional state so she could explain, “Alex and I broke up.”

“Holy shit! Thank God!”

“What? No, Polly, it’s terrible. I made such a huge mistake.”

“Pipes, are you freaking kidding me? That’s the best thing that’s happened to you since you met that viper.”

Piper’s voice had took on a strained exasperation, “Oh My God, Pol. There’s more. Her mom had just died. I mean I was looking for my passport and she got the call. She wanted to me come back with her, but I left. And then, I met someone….an American…some stranger last night after Alex and I fought and I…I slept with him?”

“Oh Lord, Pipes. Why are you always so destructive towards your own happiness? And with a stranger?! EWW! What about diseases? Did he at least seem ok?”

The blonde had dissolved emotionally by this point and her dear friend could barely decipher her words, “I don’t know, Polly. I just…I just…there must be something wrong with me.” She then gathered herself and continued with sheer determination, “I’ve got to get her back, Polly.”

“I don’t know…that just seems like a lot to throw at somebody less than 24 hours after a horrendous breakup and a death,” Polly laughed.

“Please don’t make this into a joke.”

“What?! I’m not, but it’s true. What do you think she’s going to say besides kick rocks?”

Piper contemplated her friend’s advice, “I don’t know, but I’m not giving up. I love her and I must have gone temporarily insane.”

Polly chuckled, “Really, that’s your defense? Insanity?”

Piper was angry, not only at her friend, but at herself as well, “Well it’s the only defense I’ve got and you’re sure as fuck not helping. I mean, I know I’m not around much anymore, but I could actually use a little support.”

Polly’s tone changed to one of defeat, “Okay, okay. Well, personally I still think she’s a cunt….a supercunt actually, but I want you to be happy and if she’s your happiness then you know I support you.”

Piper smiled, “Thank you for talking to me and keeping me from jumping off the terrace even if you were totally an asshole about it.”

Polly shrugged on the other end of the phone, “Eh, forget about it. Just come see me!”

Piper laughed, “I’m leaving for the airport right now. You might see me sooner than you think if things go to shit when I get back,” Polly celebrated then they said their goodbyes.

After searching the apartment one last time for any clues or left behind items, she gathered her suitcase and trudged back down the stairs. She would stop in at the desk and leave her key. She supposed she wouldn’t be needing it anymore. When she reached the desk no one was there and she considered just dropping the key there and leaving, but instead she rang the bell. It was early, but at the very least she knew Guillaume, the building’s aging maintenance man, would already be there. Just as she was about to leave the little old man came around the corner from the office.

“Oh, Mademoiselle Chapman. Je ne m'attendais pas à vous voir de nouveau après le départ de Mademoiselle Vause.” He could speak very little English, but could understand it reasonably well.

“Uh Qui. She has gone and I am leaving as well. Here is my key.”

“Oh, Qui, Qui. Ah, comment dites-vous? She leave ‘zis for you.” He reached into his shirt pocket and retrieved a letter.

She took the envelope and peeked inside at the letter. It began, “My dearest Piper…” Alex still wanted her! She could have hugged the man right there. “Merci, merci beaucoup!”

He smiled, “Soyez le bienvenu. Au revoir, Mademoiselle Chapman.”

She held the letter to her chest as she exited the building and walked to the taxi station. She was going home.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all. Here's another chapter for you guys. Just as I imagined, so far this story has gotten mixed reviews. I think part of this is due to the fact that Piper is not only a bit wishy-washy, but she tends to make horrible decisions which get her into trouble and then she expects everyone to else to pick up the pieces. Hopefully this chapter will help to explain some of the reasoning behind her actions. Obviously two wrongs don't make a right, but I think Alex has made Piper feel like she took a backseat to other things in Alex's life and I think this occurred over a long period of time. Under those circumstances it's difficult to say what anyone might do to regain some sense of autonomy or self-worth even if other's might question them. As always, thank you all for reading I hope you continue to do so.

Chapter 4:

Piper had decided to wait until she boarded the plane to read the letter. Unfortunately, when she got to the airport the next nonstop flight to New York was a couple of hours away. There was nothing she could do about that, but she knew her body was running on fumes. So, she bought her ticket and a salad then settled in for a short, yet much needed nap. She had hoped to get a shower at the arrivals lounge before she had to catch her plane, but she ended up sleeping longer than intended and had to run to catch the flight. She knew she would be in a hideous condition by the time the almost 8 hour flight landed, but a shower would have to wait.

Now, as the plane prepared for lift off she unfolded the sacred letter and read it in its entirety:

_My Dearest Piper,_

_I hope this letter finds its way to you even though I know you are probably half way across the Atlantic Ocean by now. My only hope is that you might remember to drop your key off at the building. I know you are always so meticulous about those types of things. Your sense of responsibility and attention to detail were some of the things that first drew me to you. You will remember me calling you out on your shitty resume. You were always such a good girl. I can’t begin to describe what a thrill and a turn-on it was for me to corrupt you in some small way that might stay with you forever._

_I don’t mean this to sound possessive. It’s only that you have affected me, too. “Corrupted” me, if you will…I feel as if I will never be of any use to another woman since having you. You see, I needed to write this letter…to exercise that demon, the demon that is you. I was never able to tell you how deliciously you ruined me for anyone else. I could never say that to you because it would mean giving up control to you and I could never do that either.  Not because I was high on some game, but because I was nothing without it._

_Fuck, Piper! I loved you, but fuck it. You know, my mom always used to say no regrets, no excuses. I guess that says a lot about why I am who I am. I won’t regret you, Piper. No matter how it ended. Maybe you were right to leave…I’m toxic and we’re shit together despite how much I love you. And just for the record, it was never just about the sex for me, though I loved fucking you, too. Listen, kid, do me favor…don’t come back. In a way I’m glad you got out now before we totally fucking hated each other. Go do something with your life…use your degree, write a book, or make some fucking artisanal soap. Whatever…just make it count. No regrets, Pipes, no excuses._

_Ever yours,_

_Alex_

Piper folded the letter and slid it into her pocket. She was more confused now than before. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting to be in the letter, but she certainly wasn’t anticipating Alex rolling over. Maybe she was to blame for that, too.  It was cruel to tame something wild and then abandon it. The blonde berated herself for the self-flattery. Alex couldn’t be tamed…she knew that better than anyone, but she came close she supposed. Even when Alex spent all night in a bar turning out some new carrier girl, she knew Alex always came home to her. There were never any questions asked nor answers given and for a while she was fine with it, but eventually even that aspect of Alex’s job became too much. God knows how many there had been…too many…too many to just be considered work, though. That much she knew and, yet she had stayed even when she knew they all hated her for her position in Alex’s life, in Alex’s bed.

She rested her head back against the seat attempting to get comfortable. Fortunately, the plane had leveled out now. She wished she could just go to sleep and wake up with all of the answers. Though, she knew that was too much to ask. Eventually, she did fall asleep and when the attendant woke her to notify her of the plane’s descent, there were still no answers, but she was assured of one thing. Alex may be rolling over, but she certainly wasn’t

* * *

 

It was mid-morning in New York when the blonde turned her key in the lock of Alex’s loft. Her palms were sweaty and her heart was racing as she turned the knob. She wasn’t sure what she would find on the other side of the door so she took a deep breath and entered. The air inside the loft was still and quiet as if no one had been there in months, but she knew immediately that the brunette had been there recently because a number of outfits had been thrown about the bed as if the wearer had been uncertain of which to put on.

Piper checked the kitchen and the bathroom, but Alex obviously wasn’t home. The thought made her even more nervous because now she would have to wait and hope that Alex wasn’t staying in New Jersey. Sure, she could catch a train to Weehawken and be there in about a half an hour, but she felt that they really needed to talk in private, not surrounded by the brunette’s grieving family. So she sat. She sat on the couch in her dirty clothes and greasy hair with her rumpled suitcase on the floor beside her. She didn’t dare unpack. She wasn’t sure she would be staying once she and Alex talked.

She was close to falling asleep when she heard the lock being turned in the door. She jumped up rubbing her eyes and stood in front of the door as she caught a flash of dark hair. Alex caught her eye as she removed her key from the deadbolt. The expression on the brunette’s face was unreadable. As she closed the door she turned her back on the blonde and began kicking off her heels she asked, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

Piper shrugged even though she knew Alex wasn’t looking. She was afraid to speak for fear that she might not be able to. Alex hung her keys on the hook by the door and walked past the blonde without stopping as she made her way to the bedroom, “You look like shit by the way.”

Piper laughed despite the gravity of the situation and followed the brunette into the bedroom, “Thanks….I wanted to take a shower, but I was afraid you would come in before I was done.”

Alex snorted, “What, afraid for me to see you naked now? Trust me, kid, seen one seen ‘em all.”

Piper shook her head, “Please don’t be mean. You know, that’s not what I meant.”

Alex shook her head and rubbed her temples with her right hand, “Look, I’m sorry it has been a long couple of days. You still haven’t answered my question.”

Piper stepped closer and pulled the letter from her pocket, holding it up for the brunette to see, “Got your letter.”

Alex held a blank face, “If you’ve read my letter then you know I told you not to come back. In fact, I used that specific phrase. Why are you here, Piper?”

The blonde hesitated for moment before replying with, “I’m making it count.” She moved before Alex could react and soon they were locked in a passionate kiss. Piper’s hands held Alex’s face as she kissed her with fervor, slipping her tongue behind the brunette’s lips and teeth. Alex was so stunned she held her hands tightly to her sides almost refusing to move. The shock only lasted a moment before the familiar ache the blonde always induced began to form in her tightening core. She reacted with passion, pulling the smaller woman with her as they both collapsed on the bed.

Piper was straddling the taller woman when she felt the brunette reach inside the waistband of her pants. She quickly grabbed Alex’s wrist, stopping the outstretched fingers before they reached their destination. She spoke in a whisper against the brunette’s lips, “Wait…can we just…lay here? Please? I want you so much, but I really, really need a shower and I was hoping we could talk.”

Alex understood and agreed. As Piper gently climbed off of her Alex asked, “Do you want to talk now or later?”

Piper blew out her cheeks, “Now, I guess. I have some stuff to say and you may not want me using your shower after we’ve talked.”

Alex nodded and opened her arms for the blonde to lie beside her. Piper positioned herself to be the little spoon. The brunette pulled the blonde hair away from Piper’s neck and softly nuzzled her there. Piper closed her eyes at the tenderness and allowed a few tears to fall. In a voice so soft even Alex couldn’t hear Piper whispered, “I love you so fucking much.”

Alex, only semi-aware of the blonde’s conflicting emotions, sniffed the portion of neck where she had cuddled the blonde, “You smell like cologne.”

Piper froze momentarily and then allowed to relax, “I slept with someone….in Paris…after I walked out on you.”

Alex continued brushing her hair with her fingers, “I know. Peaches told me she saw you eating some man at a café in Saint Germain. I mean, I didn’t know for sure, but I could only imagine the worst.”

Piper turned in Alex’s arms to face her, “Wait, you aren’t upset?”

Tears began to form in Alex’s bright hazel eyes, “God, Piper. What kind of question is that? Of course, I’m fucking upset. I fucking hate the thought of it, but what can I do? It’s done now. We can’t change it. I mean, I guess I’m just wondering where we go from here.”

Piper shrugged, “You were wrong…I can be your friend. I can be your partner, too, if we can work things out. Al, I’m so sorry about your mom and I’m a complete fucking asshole for leaving you when I did. I must have been out of my mind. Have I missed any of the services?”

Alex shook her head, “No, I actually just left the church. The vigil is tonight. Mass and burial are tomorrow morning.”

Piper nodded, “Good…I’d like to go with you…for support if nothing else.” She paused, “I’m not sure where we go from here. Even if you can forgive me for leaving and…the colossal fucking mistake I made afterword, I still don’t know how to cope with your job.”

Alex lifted her chin, “Look at me. I’m sorry I ever made you feel like I was choosing between you and my work. I just got too wrapped up and I see that now. But I can’t just quit. These things take time and finesse in this type of business. I have a few investments out right now. If I can get the ventures off the ground I’ll be in a position to where I can start making some real decisions.”

The blonde looked uncertain, “And what about everything else? Can you give up the other aspects of your job, too? I love you, Al, but I don’t know if I can handle the sharing anymore.”

Alex knitted her eyebrows, “What are you talking about?!”

Piper rubbed her eyes dry, “Alex, please let’s just be honest. I’ve never asked questions…never, but now I need the truth. Can you give up the women on the side? All the girls you turn-out for the business?”

Alex laughed, a deep whole-hearted laugh that caused her to clutch her stomach, “Is that what you think? You think I fuck all these girls? Oh my sweet, innocent Piper,” She was still laughing when she pulled Piper’s head to her chest and then her voice took on an honesty that Piper had rarely seen the brunette use, “Kid, I _never_ fucked those girls…one…I  fucked one the entire time we were together. It was right after we first met. You and I had slept together that first night and you were so fucking sexy and so pliable to my will…just mmm,” Alex snapped her fingers and growled at the thought before continuing, “Anyway, you remember I was gone for like 2 weeks after that and I had ditched my phone at the airport. I had forgot to write your number down so when we got to Thailand I was feeling pretty shitty and I was also pretty certain that you would never want to speak to me again after feeling like I had ditched you for 2 weeks. Well, that’s when I met Angela. She was some rich bitch blowing daddy’s money in Bangkok. I was pretty trashed and feeling sorry for myself. I even did a bump of my own shit. You know how I’m against that shit, but yeah it was pretty fucking pathetic and that was the last woman other than you.”

Piper hid her face in Alex’s chest, “Oh my God, Al. I never knew…I just thought….”

Alex laughed again, “No, I mean I wined them, dined them, showed ‘em a good time and spent more money at bars than they could have made in a week at any regular job. You know, I can be pretty convincing using my womanly wiles without having to rely on my sexual skills. Although, I can be pretty persuasive using those as well.”

This time Piper laughed. When the laughter died down, Alex’s face took on a look of somberness. The thought of Piper fucking someone else, let alone a man was gnawing at her. She looked down at the blonde lying on her chest, “Was that the only time or were there others?”

It took a moment to register with the blonde just what the brunette was asking, “Oh, Al. That was the only time. I haven’t been with anyone else and I’d only just met him that day. It wasn’t something that was planned. It’s no excuse, but I was drunk and thinking about you and what a bitch I was and I guess I wanted it to happen. I felt like I wanted to just completely ruin myself so that you would never want me again. God! That’s fucked up, right?” Piper placed her palm to her forehead and closed her eyes, wishing she could redo the last 48 hours. Oh, how things might have gone differently.

Alex had been quiet for a long time and the silence only served to make Piper nervous so she asked, “What are you thinking?”

The brunette sighed deeply and said, “I’m just not sure that I can keep doing this with you. It’s like you’re this fucking rollercoaster ride I’m stuck on. You broke my fucking heart, Piper.”

Piper rose up to look Alex in the face, “So what are you saying?”

Alex sat up beside her, “I don’t know…I just…don’t know.” She paused to gather thoughts before continuing, “Look, can we just table this discussion until I get through this funeral? The vigil is in a few hours and I’m giving a eulogy so I really need to focus on this right now.”

Piper lifted herself off the bed and began straightening her clothes. Alex looked at her oddly, “Where are you going?”

Piper shrugged trying to appear as if Alex’s words didn’t hurt, “Polly’s, I guess, at least, until I can get my shit together and find a place.”

Alex crawled across the bed and grabbed her by the wrist, “Whoa, hey. I never said you had to leave and I never said I wanted us to be over. I’m just stressed enough as it is and we have a whole plethora of shit to wade through and I want it to be right for the both of us. Okay?”

Piper nodded and Alex kissed her briefly, “Good. Now go get your smelly ass a shower and come back to me, my little spoon.”

Piper smiled while pulling her shirt over her head. As she turned towards the bathroom, she felt Alex tug a belt loop on the back of her pants, “Hey, let me see that,” said the brunette curiously. She was of course referring to the small scar just above Piper’s left hip bone. 

Alex giggled, “Every time I see this I can’t help but think of the look on your face when you slipped off that bemo.”

Piper playfully pushed the brunette away, doing her best to seem offended, “I lost my sandal! Besides who knew how dangerous public transportation would be in Denpasar?”

Alex, who was much taller and stronger, easily pulled her back, “Pipes, it was a straw market flip-flop. You can’t just leap out of a moving van.” At this point, the brunette had dissolved in to a bought of laughter.

Piper swatted her with her smelly shirt, “Hardy har har…laugh it up chuckles…If you keep bringing that incident up, I might feel compelled to remind you of your little episode in Kuta Lombok.”

Alex shivered, “Oh those creatures were vile.”

The blonde laughed teasingly, “They’re called sea lice, babe.”

Alex eyed her with playful annoyance, “Ass…”


	5. From Denpasar to Danbury: Pushing the White Horse Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hello, everyone! Sorry I'm a day behind posting...I live in the south and the storms have kept me ridiculously busy. Anyhow, here is the next chapter. Please review, if you like...I would certainly love to read your thoughts!

Chapter 5:

Alex had picked up her car from the Central Parking System near their loft in Tribeca as soon as she had arrived back in New York the previous day.  She knew she would be making frequent trips back and forth to Weehawken that week preparing for and attending her mom’s funeral and she definitely didn’t want to stay in her mom’s empty house alone or be kept at the mercy of the public train schedule. Besides, it had felt good to turn the key in the sleek black BMW 335i and feel the powerful purr of the engine. So good in fact, she had jumped on the FDR and made a loop around the entire island of Manhattan. She weaved in and out of cars recklessly while breaking speed limits to complete the circuit in less than 30 minutes.

However, she didn’t reveal that particular incident to blonde that as they approached the car on the street. Nor did she make any mention of the sexy highway patrolwoman that had cited her for speeding.  It was just as well, she supposed. She doubted she would be making any use of the personal number the officer had left on the back of a blank ticket….at least not now when she and Piper were doing whatever it was that they were doing.

The blonde was grateful to see the luxury coupe parked near the door of the building, “I’m surprised you got the car out of storage.”

Alex shrugged nonchalantly, “Yeah, well, I didn’t want to stay in New Jersey and I wasn’t taking the train every day.”

Alex opened Piper’s door and the blonde slid down into the comfortable leather seat. She closed her eyes momentarily. She was overly exhausted. After her earlier shower, she and Alex had taken a short nap, but it was nowhere near long enough and she guessed that the next few days were going to be chaotic. She felt the rumble of the engine as the car came to life and then they were pulling away from the curb as the brunette carefully navigated the car into the lanes of traffic. She considered taking a nap in the car, but it was a relatively short 20 minute drive to the funeral home. She knew she would hardly be able to rest any before they would reach their destination so she focused her attention on the brunette behind the wheel. Alex was a master at making her face as stony as any situation required, but years of experiences with the brunette had left Piper with the ability to see when it was all for show.

She reached over and gently smoothed the hard lines of the brunette’s face with her thumb. She was rewarded with a sad smile as Alex’s eyes briefly left the road. Piper knew the coming days would be difficult regardless of how tough Alex tried to be, but she was determined to be the older woman’s unyielding source of comfort and refuge as they dealt with her mother’s sudden death and began tiptoeing through the wreckage of their relationship.

When they arrived there were already several cars in the lot. Piper was curious to meet some of Alex’s family. She had only ever met her Alex’s mom a few times, but she knew she had an aunt that her mom had been close to, not to mention several cousins and an estranged uncle. Both of Alex’s grandparents had died before Alex was even born so the brunette’s childhood had been marked by watching her mother struggle with no familial support. Piper looked out of the window and commented on the gathering, “Who are all of these people?”

Alex switched the car off, “Umm…my aunt’s here. She’s helping me with the arrangements. There’s also a couple of my cousins and the rest are some of mom’s friends, I guess. Honestly, I have no idea who some of them are.” The brunette’s despondent expression spoke volumes and Piper knew what Alex was trying to say. The fact of the matter was that Alex had been so busy with the cartel over the last few years that she rarely had time to visit her mother, so meeting her circle of friends would have been next to impossible. Piper knew Alex was struggling with the regret of not visiting her mom as often as she should have. As the brunette began to exit through the driver’s door, Piper grabbed her wrist, “Al, she loved you and she was proud of you. She wouldn’t want you to feel guilty.”

The brunette downcast her eyes just long enough to swallow the rising tears and nod. When she lifted her face to meet the blonde’s she had composed herself considerably. She kissed the smaller hand held within her on and then urged the blonde out of the car, “You coming?”

Piper didn’t hesitate. She gathered her clutch and met the brunette on the sidewalk. As they entered the funeral home, Piper noticed that the small cells of people who had been milling around the lobby area had stopped what they were doing to peer at them as they opened the door. It wasn’t unusual for the brunette to command the attention of a room, but Piper had a sneaking suspicion that this reaction had more to do with the fact that they were lesbians than anything else. She had never really asked Alex what her family thought of her being gay, but the brunette’s mom had always been very sweet to Piper so the blonde assumed it was a non-issue. It wasn’t like Alex was a known giver of fucks anyhow and this was no exception.

The brunette entered first, reaching behind her to grab Piper’s hand and draw her inside behind her. Alex guided them confidently through the throngs of people and into the entryway of the parlor to find her aunt.

Alex’s aunt greeted them with arms open and tears falling. She reached Alex first, “Oh Allie! I’m glad you’re here now. Thank you for taking care of everything at the church. How did it go?”

Alex responded stiffly to hug, “Fine…everything’s in order.” She released herself from her aunt’s grip and motioned towards the lobby area, “I’m glad to see so many people showed up.”

Alex’s aunt patted her shoulder then turned her attention to Piper, “And you must be Allie’s friend.”

Piper cleared her throat and extended her hand in greeting, “Piper…Piper Chapman. Pleased to meet you, although I wish it were under different circumstances. I am so sorry for you loss.”

Alex’s aunt shook Piper’s hand conservatively, “Thank you, dear. I’m Susan. I’m glad that Allie has someone to lean on. Oh there’s Father Kaplan, would you mind if I borrowed her for just a moment?”

Piper smiled, “Not at all.”

Alex turned to the blonde, “I’ll be right back. I guess I need to go greet the priest so we can get this over with.”

Piper rubbed Alex’s upper arm in gentle support, “Go ahead. I’ll be right here when you’re done.”

A few minutes later, Alex returned and explained that they were about to start the ceremony. The priest was going to lead the services with prayer. Then, the family would be able to offer eulogies, which were to be followed by a procession of visitors who would show their respects to the family and the deceased.

The casket was open and had been placed near the far end of the room. This is where Alex led them as they waited for the services to begin. As soon as they had taken their seats, Piper turned to the brunette, “Al, honey...do you want to go up there before everything starts so you can see your mom?”

The brunette shook her head, “Can we…can we just wait until it’s over? I’d kind of like a moment alone with her.”

Piper took the taller woman’s hand, “Of course, we can do whatever you like.”

All in all, the services only lasted a few hours. While Piper, who had only met Alex’s mother a handful of times, had cried unabashedly throughout the memorial, the brunette had remained a stoic observer for the most part. It wasn’t until the family was offered the opportunity to say a few words that Alex actually began to show a bit of emotion. She was the last to speak and Piper was nervous because of Alex’s unusually calm demeanor. It wasn’t necessarily odd that Alex was calm because she generally was quite serene in all types of harrowing situations; the thing that bothered Piper was that Alex had emoted very little since they had arrived. She just hoped Alex didn’t plan on holding everything inside until it erupted.

Once Susan had finished her speech, the priest then turned to Alex. Piper squeezed Alex’s hand in encouragement as the brunette stood to her full height and made her way to the podium.

_“For those of you that knew Diane Vause, you know she didn’t take crap off anybody. She wasn’t afraid to say what she thought. She was blunt, outspoken, and no-nonsense about everything. Some people were offended by her frankness because she didn’t sugar coat things, but she was my mother and I loved her for it. I was an odd kid…a difficult kid and we never had much when I was growing up. She worked 4 jobs at one time just to keep the lights on and I thought she was the coolest mom on the block. I can remember getting teased in grade school because she worked so many jobs and my shoes were still knockoffs. When she picked me up at school one day I threw my shoes out of the car window on the way home. I told her the kids at school made fun of me. She told me that my dad was a rock god and I was cool…that one day those kids were going to wish they were me…and then she told me to go get my fucking sneakers.”_

Everyone in the parlor laughed. Piper watched on in reverence. Her eyes were bright with tears and a hand had lifted to cover her mouth in an attempt to stifle a small sob. Alex had never told her this story and yet it said so much about the brunette.

 _“The next week she marched into the parent-teacher conference and ripped Jessica Wedge’s mother a new asshole. I never had another problem from the girls at school. But that was just how she was. Looking back, I can say without a doubt, that moment was a defining point in my young life. I learned how to take care of myself, to be self-reliant, and I began to see my mother in a totally different light. I had always known she was cool, but it wasn’t until then that I realized she was teaching me all I needed to know about surviving…about being my own person and how to always, always have confidence in myself. I never got the opportunity to tell her that, but I suspect she knew.”_ By this point, the brunette’s eyes were brimming with unshed tears and she was fighting the urge to let them fall. She paused, momentarily blinking as the drops formed dark, mascara-colored streams down her cheeks. Her lips issued a small, wry laugh, _“If she were here right now she’d tell everyone to quit fucking crying and I think maybe we should listen. So, I’ll leave you all with a quote by Pablo Neruda that I think she would have found fitting, ‘…I shall walk with cold and fire and death and snow, my feet will want to march toward where you sleep, but I shall go on living, because you wanted me to be, above all things, untamable…’ Thank you.”_

Alex took her seat beside Piper and the blonde turned to hug the taller woman while whispering in her ear, “How is it possible that you can make me fall even more in love with you?”

Alex offered a small grin and responded by giving Piper a chaste kiss on the cheek.

* * *

 

A few hours later after the last of the guests had paid their respects, the parlor was finally empty. Alex’s aunt Susan had given Alex one final hug as she said her goodbyes and confirmed the time they would meet at the church the following morning. Piper was just exiting the restroom as Alex was seeing her aunt out the door. As the brunette turned to head back towards the parlor, Piper took her in her arms and they simply held one another for a few minutes. Alex was the first to break the embrace, “Would you mind waiting here for me? I just wanted to take a few minutes alone with her.”

Piper kissed Alex lightly on the lips, “Take all the time you need.”

Piper watched the brunette enter the parlor before she took a seat in one of the lobby’s wingback chairs. She had almost fallen into a fitful sleep when she heard the brunette’s footsteps walking towards her. It was obvious Alex had been crying, but it seemed as if a small weight had been lifted from her shoulders, even though the circles under her eyes told of just how exhausted she was. Piper greeted her near the door, linking their arms together, “Where do you want to go?”

Alex sighed, “Pipes, can we just go home…our home?”

The blonde allowed herself a little smile of joy as she led the taller woman out onto the sidewalk and to the car, “I thought you’d never ask.”


	6. From Denpasar to Danbury: Pushing the White Horse Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

The next morning there was a flurry of activity as both women raced to get ready so that they made it to church on time to meet Alex’s aunt. They had slept late as the emotions from the day before had worn them down to the point that they had crashed as soon as they made it back to the loft. Piper had worried that Alex might slip into a depression over her mother’s death, but as she watched the gorgeous brunette slip her fantastically long legs into a pair of black silk stockings, it was apparent that Alex was almost back to her usual confident and charming self.

As the scene unfolded before her, Piper felt the familiar stirrings of arousal. She and Alex hadn’t been intimate in a few months and even though they were attempting to reconcile their issues, the fact still remained that Piper had slept with someone else and she wasn’t sure how Alex felt about having sex with her so soon after everything had happened. Piper didn’t want to push the issue as she knew Alex was also dealing with her mother’s passing so she quickly slipped into her heels and left the room. Maybe they would have more time to work on their issues once the funeral was over. The couple was due to meet Alex’s Aunt Susan at the church in half an hour. Just as Piper was considering going to check on her partner, the brunette stepped out of the bedroom fighting an earring. Finally clasping it in her ear, she looked up and giggled a bit embarrassed, “You ready?”

Piper nodded pensively, “Sure.”

Alex frowned. It was clear something was on Piper’s mind. The blonde had been in great spirits just 10 minutes before when she abruptly walked out of the bedroom. Alex wondered what could have changed so drastically in such a short period, especially when things between them had appeared to be on the mend. As Piper grabbed her keys and reached for the door, Alex stepped forward and caught her wrist, “Pipes, is everything ok?”

Piper seemed to snap out a daze, “Hmmm? Oh yeah sure. I’m sorry just a little tired, I guess.”

Alex nodded, drawing the smaller woman closer to whisper, “Are you certain?” Without waiting for a reply, she leaned down and kissed the blonde firmly on the mouth, taking the woman’s lips between her own in a tiny nibble.

Piper moaned into the brunette’s mouth as she felt an unmistakable wetness form between her legs. Alex giggled against her lips and pulled back, eyeing her mischievously, “I guess you’re right. You seem fine to me.”

* * *

 

The funeral service was a relatively short affair, lasting only a couple of hours. The majority of the service was made up of the requiem mass. The priest and the attendants recited several prayers and then the family and friends received Holy Communion. Piper did not participate in this ritual as she had been raised in the United Church of Christ. However, she did come forward in the line to receive a blessing from the priest. Following the mass, many of the attendants did not accompany the family to the Rite of Committal. The graveside service, while held in the cemetery next to the church, had been reserved for immediate family and close, personal friends only. Piper noted that Alex had been quiet throughout much of the ceremony. The brunette had not cried since the vigil the night before, though her expression remained meditative. This was nothing new as Alex wasn’t generally an emotional person. Still, Piper couldn’t help but wonder what the brooding woman was thinking.

As the funeral goers were walking towards their cars parked on the street, Alex grabbed the blonde’s hand and pulled her into the church through a side entrance. The great hall was mostly empty as the pair walked past the rows of seating and into a small inconspicuous door to the left of the pulpit. Piper was thoroughly confused as the brunette led her into the vestry and shut the door, locking it behind them.

“Al, what are you doi…?”

But the blonde’s questioning was effectively cut short as Alex turned and pushed her up against the door and kissed her hard. Piper moaned into the brunette’s mouth as her hands instantly reached to grip locks of raven hair. Tongues slipped behind lips and the blonde’s arousal from earlier in the morning began to flame back to life as she felt an instant flush of wetness between her legs. Alex pulled away from the kiss to begin quickly undressing her would-be lover.

“What does it look like I’m doing? I know you need me to fuck you. I could feel you eye-fucking me this morning across the bedroom,” she said as she pushed the blonde’s dress up to her hips and jerked down her moist panties in one fell swoop, stuffing them inside her own bra. She then pulled the smaller woman into the center of the room, lifted her by the hips, and unceremoniously sat her on the edge of the room’s only table.

“But in the church?” Piper’s words showed apprehension, yet her hands did nothing to stop the raven haired beauty from relieving her of her underwear. Not even when Alex kneeled in front of her and lifted her left leg over her porcelain shoulder did she make any move to halt the brunette’s panther-like prowl.

Alex had a devilish grin on her face as she merely licked her lips in response before running her nose from the blonde’s opening to her clit, taking in the heady aroma. Alex had missed this. She had missed the smell, the taste, the touch of the blonde. Not to mention the sexual power she held over her…the same power she was exerting at that very moment….the one that coaxed the good girl into being very naughty. Alex loved the fact that Piper was such a prim and proper little WASP, but she knew it was just for show. Only Alex knew just how thoroughly Piper loved to be fucked. How she would often beg for it when Alex teased. Yes, Alex Vause loved turning the normally pristine blonde into a dirty, dirty girl.

Unfortunately, teasing the blonde to the point of begging would not be possible today. Not when a church half-full of people stood just outside the door. Oh, but what a rush it was taking the blonde fast and hard. Alex dipped her tongue into Piper’s intoxicating wetness and spread it around the hardened nub in fast circles. Her fingers sought out the blonde’s dripping core and she entered her roughly with two fingers. The forcefulness of it caused the blonde to throw her head back and cry out into the stillness around them.

Piper’s moans continued with every thrust of the brunette’s fingers. She could not recall the last time Alex had taken her with such authority and the feel of the raven haired beauty filling her up so completely had her gushing into the woman’s mouth. Just when she didn’t think she take much more, Alex introduced a third finger and began pumping furiously against the spongy bundle of tissue located just behind the blonde’s clit.

She heard Piper take in a sharp breath of pleasure before exhaling quickly, “Ahh….I’m coming! I’m coming! I’m coming!”

Alex smiled and continued licking the blonde’s swollen need until the woman had calmed considerably. She then stood up to kiss the blonde softly, smiling against her lips, “Haven’t I told you to show, not tell.”

Piper offered a throaty giggle, “Mmm…I think I showed as well.”

Alex helped lift her off the table and showed her the wetness that soaked her forearm, “That, you did….that, you did.”

The blonde at least had the decency to look somewhat embarrassed before she lowered her dress and looked around the room in confusion, “Where are my panties?”

Alex lifted a small strip of lace from in between her breasts to show the blonde, “You know, I think I’ll hang on to these until we get home.”

Piper looked at the brunette dubiously, “You wouldn’t…”

Alex grinned her intent, “Oh but I would…I want you to feel your bare ass sliding on the soft leather seat in the car all the way home so I know you’ll be that much more ready for me when we get there.” She then opened the door and left the blonde standing there. Piper moaned in frustration. It was amazing how quickly Alex could have her body humming again so soon after having just had her way with her only a few moments ago.


	7. From Denpasar to Danbury: Pushing the White Horse Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! Sorry for the long delay in posting. I've actually had this chapter written for several weeks, but with graduation and working extra, I've not had the time or inspiration to write. I'm hoping posting this chapter will help encourage me to continue with this one. I actually have a lot of the storyline mapped out in my mind, it's just a matter of getting it down on paper. Anyhow, I hope y'all bear with with me.

Chapter 7:

The car ride back to their New York loft felt excruciatingly long to Piper. Of course it didn’t help that the brunette was lightly drawing patterns on her exposed thigh all the while quietly humming a tune that sounded inexplicably erotic, but maybe that was just because the sound was issuing from the brunette’s sultry lips.

It was amazing to Piper how reserved Alex could be when she was in a teasing mood. It made Piper want to rip her own clothes off and beg to be fucked. This bodily response was infuriating to say the least, but it was something she had yet to learn how to turn off. Even during heated arguments, the dispute would often end with Piper cumming at the end of Alex’s long fingers. Piper smiled thinking about it now. It was true…no one had ever had quite the same effect on her.

Alex immediately noted the blonde’s small smile and lifted a cocky brow, “Chapman, are you thinking about me?”

Piper cut her eyes playfully, “Mmmhmmm…”

“Mmm do tell.”

Piper scoffed jokingly, “Isn’t it you who is always saying ‘show, don’t tell’?”

Alex smiled lustily as she maneuvered the car over to the curb, while unfastening her seatbelt, “I like the way you think, kid, and I do love a good show. Shall we?”

Piper didn’t need to be asked twice and as soon as the pair made it behind the sealed doors of the elevator, she pushed the taller woman against the wall and kissed her thoroughly, her hands traveling up the up the brunette’s sides  and into the dark blue and raven tresses. It seemed Alex was giving her another chance and she didn’t intend to waste it. The brunette’s lips soon parted and Piper licked the full bottom vermillion before dipping her tongue inside the inviting mouth. Alex reciprocated the action, greedily devouring the smaller woman’s probing muscle. As the elevator dinged to signal their landing, Piper pulled away, slowly nibbling at the brunette’s swollen lips. She then stepped back completely, allowing her left hand to travel down the tall figure, before exiting the elevator.

“Coming?,” she asked over her shoulder.

Alex leaned her head back against the wall and growled in frustration as a devilish smile played on her lips, “Oh, I intend to.”

Piper knew she had the brunette wet and ready. The thought thrilled the blonde beyond words. Alex’s character was so brobdingnagian that it often towered over everyone she encountered. She was a leviathan sea monster, crashing onto Piper’s shores and toppling her stalwart defenses. The fact that Piper knew just how to dominate her was what made their physical couplings so dynamic.

Knowing she had turned the tables on her sultry lover, Piper wanted to keep the game going so she didn’t wait on the brunette to catch up with her. She entered the loft and strutted to the bedroom, dropping items of clothing as she went. Entering the bedroom she caught her lithe, naked reflection in the vanity mirror; quite pleased with herself, she smoothly climbed up on the large, contemporary bed, her pert ass lifting into the air. She had intended to seductively greet the brunette as she entered.

Alex, however, had been following the blonde in a stealthy cat-like pursuit and before Piper could manage to position herself firmly on the pillow-top mattress she felt a sharp sting to her right ass cheek as the sound of Alex’s disciplinary slap to her rear rang out in the bedroom.

“Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.,” Alex spoke. “You should never leave a lady wet and wanting.”

The heat from the strike spread directly to the blonde’s core causing her back to tighten like a wound spring. Her only response was a deep moan as she painfully bit her own bottom lip, but she dared not move.

“What? No plea to absolve yourself of guilt?” When no other reply came, the brunette continued, “Very well then. I suppose you deserve another lashing,” before the sentence was fully out of her mouth, her hand connected with the supple flesh on the left side of Piper’s ass.

This time the blonde lurched forward and cried out, despite her best attempts to remain quiet. The shout told of pain tinged pleasure. However, as the blonde prepared herself for more punishment, Alex swiftly climbed behind her on the bed. She felt the warm, naked flesh of the brunette’s cunt press against her burning ass and wondered how Alex had lost her clothes so quickly. She didn’t have time to process an explanation before she felt an arm slip around her waist from behind and forcefully flip her over on the mattress.

Alex reached deftly between them and slipped her middle finger along the blonde’s incredible wetness. She closed her eyes at the silky feel, “Mmmm you’re wet…just as I expected. Did I not service you properly less than 45 minutes ago?”

Pipers smiled lazily, nodding, “Mmhmm.”

Alex then made a show of tapping her chin as if she were in deep consideration, “Well, I wonder how you could be positively soaking? Hmmm…maybe it’s because I stripped you of your panties and forced you to ride home bare in anticipation. Oh well,” she shrugged, “I suppose it’ll need cleaning up.” Without further delay, she dipped her head in between the blonde’s thighs and began lapping at the copious fluid.

Piper’s hands moved to rest on the raven head and her back arched into the perfect mouth as she felt Alex swirl her tongue around her tight opening before running it up to her expecting clit and settling into a steady motion. Just as Piper’s hips found the rhythm, she felt the brunette’s movement’s decrease. She furrowed her brow at the inaction, “Why’d you stop?”

Alex lifted herself up to meet the blonde’s eyes. She was grinning cheekily as she kissed Piper fully, allowing her to taste herself, “I have a better idea. Close your eyes.”

Piper did as she was instructed. However, she then felt Alex take one of her hands and put it between her own legs. Did Alex want to see her masturbate? She opened her eyes to whine in protest, “Al, it’s not as good if I do it myself.”

Alex placed a finger to her lips, “Shh… no peeking. Just keep yourself hot for me.”

Piper sighed momentarily then began a tentative circle around her clit with her index finger. Alex kissed her again, “That’s a good girl.”

Piper noted a weight shift on the mattress as she felt Alex move off the bed. She couldn’t help but be curious as to what her lover was doing. Fortunately, she didn’t have to wait long before she felt Alex return, climbing back on the bed.

“Don’t open them!” Alex ordered.

And, for once the blonde listened without protest. She was still confused, but she had never known Alex to disappoint so she waited, using all of her senses to decipher the brunette’s intentions. In that moment, Alex knelt between her legs and began kissing her gently down each of her thighs before she dipped her fingers into the blonde’s wetness, gathering a generous amount of moisture. The next thing the blonde knew, Alex shifted slightly closer to her and a foreign object had been gently introduced around the rim of her opening. Piper smiled almost imperceptibly. She knew what Alex was about to do. It was something they rarely did, but much like everything else, Alex was dynamite at this, too. She didn’t have long to consider the fact though because Alex made one evolution, then two with the tip of the toy before inserting it fully into Piper’s aching pussy.

Piper’s eye’s shot open as she gripped both as Alex’s upper arms, “Oh. God, Alex!”

“Sorry, kid. No divine intervention here…this all me.,” Alex replied. To punctuate her assertion, Alex leaned back onto her heels, causing the phallic object to pull almost completely out of the blonde, before rocking her hips, pushing back inside and up to the hilt. She continued this slow teasing motion for several minutes.

 Piper loved it when Alex took her time and fucked her slowly like this. She could literally feel that tip of the object halt at the perimeter of her opening before slipping back inside and it drove her crazy. She was certain Alex knew exactly what she was doing to her and she would be right.

Alex had carefully plotted and mapped Piper’s body years before. She had memorized the routes and byways and then tucked them safely away in the recesses of her mind where she would later draw on them to pleasure the blonde in ways she was certain no one else ever had. Ways similar to what she was doing right this moment. She knew the bed would be a mess after this because the penetrative long strokes always made Piper’s pussy drip like a fountain. However, Alex found she didn’t care. Maybe it was because she felt she had something to prove to those nagging thoughts, the ones that made her question Piper’s commitment all because the blonde had fucked someone else, a man no less. Of course, she would never voluntarily admit her insecurities to the blonde. This was the only way she knew how to exercise her demons. She would put her doubts to bed along with Piper. She began to increase the pace; she knew Piper wouldn’t take long.

A thin sheen of sweat covered both of their bodies as Alex rolled her hips intensely and Piper’s back arched to meet her. Their foreheads were pressed together and each could feel the other’s breath as they panted and moaned together. Piper felt the gentle stirrings of impending orgasm and knew she was close.

“Oh, oh, Al, mmm…I’m going to come. Oh God! Yes! Yes!,” she moaned out. Her feet dug into the mattress and Alex increased her movements, yet again. Piper felt her walls clench the shaft as she toppled over the edge, “OH!!! FUCK! I’m coming!”

Alex continued to lightly thrust into her lover as she came down from her high, until finally Piper put her hands on her shoulders to stop her, “Oh, please, Al…no more.”

The blonde still had her eyes closed as Alex lay down on top of her, listening to her pounding heart. She gently began tracing light patterns on the brunette’s muscular back, “God, baby, that was sooo incredible. It’s been so long since we’ve done it that way. I totally wasn’t expecting it.”

When Alex didn’t respond, Piper furrowed her brow and looked down at her, “Babe? Everything ok?”

Alex looked up to the blonde, her expression one of seriousness and rare vulnerability, “Are you sure?”

Piper laughed because Alex had never asked her that before…she had never had to. Not because the brunette didn’t care, but because she had always been so certain of herself. “Oh my God, could you not tell? Al, where’s this coming from?” Then it hit her. Piper closed her eyes and willed herself not to cry. Is that why Alex had wanted to use the strap-on? Was she really that bothered by what happened with Larry, to the point that she felt she had something to prove? Alex was the most unwaveringly confident person Piper had ever met. The blonde berated herself once again. She had totally devastated their relationship and she didn’t like feeling like she had broken the brunette emotionally, “Alex…please don’t do that. It was amazing like it always is with you. What happened….,” she swallowed thickly, “what happened with him meant nothing, less than nothing. No one has _ever_ come close to you. Not in my heart and not in bed. I hate that I did this to you, Al. But we can’t carry on like this. We _need_ to talk, to work this out. I need to know if there’s a chance for us because I can’t lock things in a box and avoid their existence like you can. I can’t keep making love with you with the constant worry that we are going to implode.”

Alex eyed the blonde intently, while reaching behind herself to loosen the strapped harness, “Fuck me,” she stated simply as she lifted off the blonde and held out the harness.

Piper was severely confused. It wasn’t necessarily that Alex didn’t prefer that type of sexual experience, but at the same time Piper knew it wasn’t one of her favorite activities, “What good will that do?”

Alex gave the blonde an intense look, “Piper, this is how we process. I love you. You said it meant nothing so prove it. It’s simple. Fuck me and make me yours…please, Pipes….”

Piper’s face had taken on an expression of intense fury, but she obliged. Swiftly flipping Alex on her back and pinning her against the bed, she kissed her hard. It was an overwhelming kiss as they both clawed and bit at one another. Piper wasted no time leaning back and strapping the harness around her waist. She then grasped the base of the shaft and leaned closer, giving the brunette a questioning look.

Alex responded by reaching between them and placing the object at her opening; Piper did the rest. Alex moaned as she felt the full length fill her cunt. Some of Piper’s cum had remained on the shaft of the toy and the contrast between the cool, wetness of the dildo entering her burning center made her shiver with pleasure. The notion and feel of Piper’s cum mixing with her own was so erotic she almost came from the thought. There was something so unifying about the act of combining their sexual secretions that made her feel connected to Piper in a way that traditional love-making just didn’t.

Piper was small, but she was strong and it often surprised Alex just how capable the blonde was. Piper set a fast pace, forcing the head of the dong up and along Alex’s inner walls. It was hitting just the right area, as the tip beat relentlessly against the soft spongyness of her g-spot. Alex had never been able to ejaculate like Piper could. In fact, she had never enjoyed penetration as much Piper did either. Maybe it was the fact that there emotions were running high or maybe Piper had never been so dominate, but whatever it was, the blonde’s thrusting was feeling incredible and she couldn’t stop herself from moaning.

“Oh, baby, you feel so good,” she whispered into Piper’s open mouth and the blonde gave her a languorous kiss.

Piper smiled on the brunette’s lips. Alex didn’t offer terms of endearment very often so Piper was certain that the raven haired knockout was enjoying herself if she had uttered the word ‘baby.’ This encouraged Piper to increase the speed and force of her thrusts. She knew Alex wasn’t used to being fucked this way so she had been trying to be gentle. However, the moans and the feel of Alex’s undulating hips told her that she was ready for more. Piper leaned further over Alex, using her toes as a stronghold she pushed the strap-on deeper inside the brunette.

Alex’s eyes rolled back and a deep moan issued from her parted lips. She was experiencing sensory overload. Everything felt so fucking good…from the weight of Piper’s mound pressed against her own to the sopping, sucking sound of Piper pushing the shaft in and out of her pussy. She felt her orgasm come quickly. She hadn’t wanted Piper to stop so she had been fighting off the impending crest for several minutes hoping to prolong the pleasure. However, her traitorous body, coupled with piper’s effective pumping, had pushed her over the edge before she realized it was happening.

“FUCK!” she yelled as the orgasm ripped through her body.

Piper moaned with her, “Yeah, baby…just like that. Come for me, Alex…”

Piper thrust only a couple more times until she knew the brunette was spent then she eased out of her, unbuckled the straps, and tossed the harness onto the bedroom floor before covering Alex’s hot body with her own.

Alex felt her breathing returning to normal and she shivered from the slight beating she could feel pulsing out from her pussy all the way down to her toes.

Piper kissed her sweetly, “I love you, Al.”

Alex smiled and rubbed the sweaty, matted her away from the blonde’s forehead, “Ditto, kiddo.”


End file.
